another one we have not done...

[Guest]

hi guys, carrying on from Nigels little threads here is another one we have not done....

What is everyone's favourite colour?

mine has to be green.....plain and simple green

[Guest]

i like tartan...awesome colour that tartan is. My first ever task in my first ever job was to got to the hardware store and buy some tartan paint......it must be really rare ..coz they kept me waiting for ages...and then told me they were out of stock and sent me to another branch....strange but they were out of stock too, i ended up going to so many shops i lost count.

When i got back to work, they all laughed at me for coming back empty handed.....i explained that i tried my best and went to numerous shops and they were all out of stock, apart from one shop. The guy said it was the last tin of tartan paint in the country - hence the extortionate price, he wanted 1 million pounds for it!!!!!! I then phoned my boss to see if i should pay. My boss asked me if i had my credit card on me to pay for it, i didnt ofcourse....i mean...who carries a cred card when they are at work?

Anyways...to cut a long story short, when i got back to work, they all laughed at me for being so useless. I felt ashamed that i had let them all down, i could have cried. I wanted to make such a good impression on my first day in a new job.

Then they tried to ease my guilt by saying that there was no such thing as tartan paint!!!!!!!! And that they were just kidding me for a laugh!

I guess the last laugh was on them because i went to 23 hardware shops that had only just run out of tartan paint. 23 shops can't be wrong!

But how nice of them all to try and make me feel better by saying that tartan paint doesnt exist.

Anyway....Black is my favourite non-colour

[Guest]

Tiger, you're a star!!

[wonwinglo]

Got to be yellow in my case,just love using yellow paint,however not a good colour in the summer months as every bug in the neighborhood clings to your model.

[Guest]

my colour has to be lime green and black i had my bedroom that colour it was awsome. it was a bit crap for the summer because all the heat was on the walls because they were black. the carpet was great it was lime green and we did have a dog living with us and when it was it kept doing it things on my carpet. i have now moved downstairs and it is grey and blue.

[Guest]

Royal Purple

[Guest]

its a tuff choice between red , electrice blue and pearlicent purple

[Guest]

British Racing Green or Ferrari Red

[Guest]

Red and Black - oddly they were also my father's favourite colours. (I cannot go into reasons why or what I like in red and black).

Easier to find in paint shops than some rare things like tartan paint !!!

[Guest]

terry you really do make us all laugh, i once went into a hardware store and asked for a left-handed screwdriver, they didnt have any either. annoying because ned in the simpsons has them in his "leftorium"

my search continues....

[Guest]

This all reminds me of the great list of tricks traditionally played on cadets/apprentices/trainees in the engineering world.

The ones off the top of my head are:

1) Send one to the stores for a "Long Stand"

2) Send him to the stores far a bag of "Screw Holes".

3) Ask him to "Float Test" something. (That means chuck it over the side!!)

4) A popular one is stick a funnel down your trousers and drop a coin, balanced on your forehead, into the funnel. Not too difficult but make out it is. When the young lad tries it pour water/milk/warm engine oil down the funnel.

5) Send him to adjust the "Wobble Throbble" valve to 3.5 turns open.

6) Send him to the stores for a "Sky Hook".

7) Wait until he is adjusting a piece of machinery for the first time, under strict instruction to be carefull as the machinery has always been temperamental, and crawl below him in the bilge space where you can see him. When he touches the machinery hit the steel floor plates below his feet with a hammer.

8) Ask him what the hell he has done with the "Wobble Throbble" valve as the "Turbo Farter" is now playing up.

The list goes on....

One of my own most memorable ones was when I had to parallel two generators for the first time manually. You have to carefully adjust the speed of the incoming machine with the distribution board frequency until the indicator is turning slowly clockwise and at just the right spot, at about the 5-to 12 position, then hit the breaker button.

The breaker goes in with a hell of a bang anyway but in my case the Fourth Engineer switched off the control room lights at just that second and for an instant I thought I had blacked the ship out.

[Guest]

oh we have a few in the catering trade.

to name a few.

1. we also have the funnel trick...its a grate one...

2. send them to the stores for a long "weight"

3. fillet whitebait (if anyone does not know its a tiny fish you usually fry, about and inch long, so small you eat it whole bones/guts...the lot and would be near impossible to fillet under i magnifying lense!

4. Cornflour Sandwich (hillarious, cant open their mouths after the first bite!)

5. the best one iv seen was making someone eat a spoon full of cocao powder (not hot chocolate...has to be cocao!) as soon as it goes in the mouth its like pure starch, your teeth and mouth stick togeather, you accidently breath it which makes you caugh out little clouds of cocao and the taste is so bitter you will have it in your mouth for a good day!!!

[Guest]

One of my own most memorable ones was when I had to parallel two generators for the first time manually. You have to carefully adjust the speed of the incoming machine with the distribution board frequency until the indicator is turning slowly clockwise and at just the right spot, at about the 5-to 12 position, then hit the breaker button. The breaker goes in with a hell of a bang anyway but in my case the Fourth Engineer switched off the control room lights at just that second and for an instant I thought I had blacked the ship out.

Bunk!....Well thought out........well executed.....The perfect new boy introduction.

I hope the tradition continues (but not in a warzone)

[wonwinglo]

These tricks were once all part and parcel of the apprentices indoctrination process,a cocky little so and so who thinks he knows it all and needs to be brought down to reality ! I have never heard of the funnel one before,a sort of sidetrack to get the funnel down his leg ready for the liquid !

I seem to remember that they sent me for some pyrene equipment ? it turned out that I came back with a sack full of old junk on my shoulder unaware that it was a prank,thinking that I was doing a service to the community !! so young and innocent,and gullible.