The trouble is my missus work here as well we live in the lodge at about half what it would cost us to rent it privately and my missus would never forgive me if I put her in her place, my missus came home in tears one day a few years ago and I went down there and told her what I thought of the way she treated her staff told her I was not having her upset my missus and she could shove her job up her you know what, got home and my missus told me I had to go back and apologise. Of course she accepted because she's worse to my missus than me and knows she could never replace her. She couldn't care less if I was there or not she would just let the place fall down around her ears. If it was just me I would have left years ago but I will always do what my missus wants. I love her to bits we are great together, I just wish I could make her see how c$?p our boss is. My missus just thinks we are too old to be changing jobs and is worried about finding somewhere else to live.
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Oh and of course she would never give me a reference for another job.Comment
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Ken I would first consider will you be happy to leave and work for others.
Second can you get another placement.
If the answers are yes to both then that is it seems to me to be the answer.
If it is no to the first but yes to the second then there is a decision to be made. That depends on your priority.
If the answer yes to the first but no to the second. Then you decision is made you stay.
Your problem is then do you risk antagonising your employer in complaining about the state of things. How safe are you in your job. From what you say as they have thinned down and you are the only one left that they consider you to be the best.
They would of course say that you are working the same hours as before and so it is very difficult to argue that you are having to work harder.
I would be frank (in a friendly manner) with them and say that you are doing your best but that you can only do as much as the hours you work allow and that due to that some of the maintenance will suffer. They then can except that as what else is there. Or they can employ someone else. Or they can increase you hours and pay you for that. But that is up to them.
I can not see any other route. If you cannot get another placement then you are stuck. I see no sense in making the whole matter confrontational as one they may employ others and you are without employment. Also once things become confrontational things are never the same afterwards. Would you want to work in an atmosphere like that.
LaurieComment
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Ken I wrote my above piece before reading the one you have just posted. Does alter things but not a lot. I really feel for you it is such a dilemma. Sometimes you have to accept these things for the sake of others. Love is a phenomenon with a mind of it's own which influences all and in many cases beyond logic.
LaurieComment
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No you are right Laurie thing is I do like the job the place is beautiful but I am one man being expected to do eight mens work (mine 3 gardeners and 4 handymen work) its just I was peed off at the fact I do my best and work my ass off and get no appreciation for it.Comment
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Not much you can practically do Ken other than have a friendly word with the boss. Liking working there seems to be the matter of paramount importance. Even though I ran my own business there were some clients I did no like very much. They were not terrible people but I just did not like their attitude not mostly to me but others they employed. But that is life and you have to worry about providing for the family.Originally posted by \
There were others who I would not wish to and did not but that was more than not liking very much. One I ditched after he wanted to fiddle the income tax ie pay me 10% less but in cash in order that I could avoid tax. I got paid full and paid the tax. So there are worse.
LaurieComment
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Sounds like your hands are tied mate and there's no way out. At least you've had a rant which is nice and stress relieving.If it were me I'd have gone ages ago but that's just me.I understand you wanting to keep the wife happy and a roof over your head so for now I'd just plod on doing what you are doing and if that means cutting all that grass with a push mower then fine but make sure you take plenty of breaks and if you fall behind on other works then so be it.How your employers expect one man to do the work of seven is beyond me.I think a good chat with you task masters is in order and you should air you grievances don't let the buggers wear you down mate.Remember you physical and mental health are most important to your well being and your relationship with your wife/partner good luck mate but try and keep calm and carry/plod and I mean plod onComment
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You could try telling her how unfair it is and inquire about more coworkers.
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As a Yank I've only seen places like your photos and heard of people living "in the Lodge" on old BBC (via PBS) TV shows. I'm thinking of Penelope Keith's character bringing in " a little man" to work for her on To A Manor Born"! Anyway, I run a small plant nursery and my business partner, the nursery manager, lives in the farmhouse on site. Because he is benefiting from a business asset his rent is part of his pay; which all is duly recorded with the IRS for tax purposes. His rent has to be market rate as well or he would be charged taxes on the discount as income. Is it the same for you in the UK? Are there minimum wage issues? How is overtime recorded and compensated? We have to account for all of that. My manager is also an owner of the business so that makes it a little different from your situation.Comment
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She's worse to your missis than she is to you!!! Then don't you think it's about time you looked after your Missis?
Take control for goodness sake.Comment
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As I said Richard the last time I did that my missus insist I go back and apologise, she (my missus would never leave) and as for overtime pay we don't get paid overtime and are on minimum wage. Anyway I've had my rant, I will just stay out of her way for a couple of days.Comment
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Sounds like youre in between a rock and a hard place Ken . Very delicate situation ,not wanting to upset the missus , but it sounds like your boss is just taking you for granted and taking the mick just a bit! I would still let her know your feelings tactfully , try and get her to understand your problems without upsetting her (and subsequently the wife) hopefully she might have a change of heart , if this doesnt work try reminding her that no one else would put up with the hassle she dishes out and tell her she should think herself lucky shes got you! Hope you can get this sorted , good luck mate , cheers tonyComment
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Blimey! First off, what you are doing should not be minimum wage, end of. This is skilled work, and as you say, she won't find anyone else dumb enough to take on such a big estate on that money. But, the nub of the matter is a very familiar story, and one of the reasons I took early retirement from college lecturing. Everywhere you look there are folks doing the work of (traditionally) two or three people (except MPs, who get around £30 - 40,000 extra expenses to "tide them over"!). Here's what I would do, it'll be a bit of a shag, but it will press your point home. Put together two lists, one of all the jobs on your work list, and who used to do them, and how many hours they used to allocate to that particular work, and the other, the same list, and how you cope with it now. Make it concise, unemotional and just the facts. Your employer would be able to see clearly what the situation is, which will put you in a better bargaining position. Then get her to drop your rent to zero. It'll make no difference to her, and many tied cottages are rent free, as they damn well ought to be. That is a very big house, and in Halstead, worth seven figures, whatever state it is in. Either they can't actually afford to live there any more, if they cannot keep up the running of the place, or they are just greedy and happy to exploit you and your missus in the time honoured way of the ruling classes
. This has the potential to drive you into genuine despair, and to be honest, makes me sick to read it. So, get your rent dropped, insist on at least two assistants, or get out before it makes you ill. But one thing is for sure, I can promise you that the dust won't settle, and things won't get better unless you take the initiative. Be assured, if you were to fall ill and needed a couple of months recuperation, you'd be out on your arse in no time at all. These folks are millionaires, they'll deny it to death, but they are, and that place would look a tip in no time without you.
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Those are real fears she has, not easy to pull up roots at our age, to start over, but you should ALWAYS keep your eyes and ears open for anything that could improve your situation. Have gotten angry on occasion and told the wife f### it all! lets me and you just chuck it and head for Florida with my pension and screw em all! but she just tickles my chin and I come back to reality. Hang in there, all will be well. As long as you and the mrs. are still in love as we are that's all that matters, I adore my wife and despite our challenges we are happyOriginally posted by \
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