Steve Jones Tidy Bench Club Application No 327

[Steve Jones]

,

[Si Benson]

Hiya Mate,
Well you’ve been a busy bunny haven’t you!
Storage is always an issue with all the gear us moggelers accumulate, so getting all that extra space can only be a bonus:thumb2:

I recently tidied up my little storage area, situated Harry Potter style in the cupboard under the stairs



And as for the tidy bench club....well not sure my 3 square foot constitutes a bench but it’s reasonably tidy:thinking:


Very envious that you have an entire room.....everything in its place and a place for everything:nerd:

[Steve Jones]

Now that I have some space, one of those lamps is on my list of things to get. Very tidy corner as it always is sir. :thumb2:

[Fernando N]

Neat work of those shelves Steve, looking proper now:thumb2:.

[minitnkr]

My, my, how tidy you've become. Looks most likely to qualify. Congrats. PaulE

[Steve Jones]

Sorry to have deserted you and the untidy bench club. It may not be for too long though

[stillp]

Disgustingly tidy. Have you no shame? :tongue-out:

Pete

[Jim R]

Dear Mr Jones

Thank you for your application to become a member of the Tidy Bench Club. Application reference no. 327.
The committee examined the photographs in great detail. In view of the large number of photos which accompanied your application the meeting went over time to such an extent that an order was placed with the local Zimbabwean take away, The Flaccid Prawn. This allowed the committee to work tirelessly on your application over lunch time. It was plain to see that in the past you had allowed standards to sink to a truly appalling level. However the shelving has given you an opportunity to change your ways.
You said in your application that you "Still need to sort through and compartmentalise a few things". A very encouraging sentiment which we feel bodes well for the future.
In view of the progress you have made and your apparent determination to maintain a high standard the committee have decided to offer you 'Temporary, junior, conditional' membership. If documented evidence is sent to the TBC to show that standards have not slipped then this membership may be upgraded in the future.
Welcome to the TBC.

Sir Tavish MacTavish of Ecclefechan (membership secretary)

Your membership card allows the holder to travel free on all North Korean trains and buses and most exciting of all gives a 25% discount on entry to the "Shake my Booty" nightclub in Milton Keynes.

[Steve Jones]

Sir Tavish MacTavish of Ecclefechan

I am truly honoured to be awarded the "Temporary, junior, conditional" membership of the Tidy Bench Club. I will endeavour to keep the bench tidy despite pressures from the likes of PaulE's Untidy Bench Club. I understand regular tidy bench photos will be required for future membership upgrades which I will endeavour to do.

Many thanks

Steve

P.S May I use my "Shake my Booty" pass at the Pink Flamingo also??

[Jim R]

We are pleased to confirm that the TBC membership card is accepted at the Pink Flamingo. Unfortunately this discount does not include the personal massage services of Fifi Trixiebelle or Bertie "Big Boy" Brown.

[Guest]

Sir.
I wish to object on the inclusion of Mr Jones, ( admittly with a temporary members ship to the club. )
There appears to be some favoritism ocuring here, is Mr Jones a member of your family by any chance, like your 26 th cousin 9 times removed ?
This is a blatant disregard to the rules, see subsection 6 : pargraph 3 .
The use of the matrimonial bed to store either in temporary way modelling items is banned. This is quite clear by the included photos.
In view of this outrage I will refuse to apply for applications to the club and remain the President of the untidy bench club.

Yours Ivor Belcher - Smith.
Bletchly.
Hut 4 .

[minitnkr]

What the fanabalasorta! Your shoddily transparent attempt to impersonate IB-S is is an outrage! I have documented evidence you are known by several alias including John Race, Member in good standing of the Rabble and multiple applicant to the Tidy Bench Club & oftentimes user of a tidy bench. Therefore your objection should be rendered null & void with prejudice, as there is no evidence the bed pictured is in fact the marriage bed.
Patient 105
Bed 12
Ward 7
Home for the Mogelling Insane

P.S.
Any discounts offered/supported in the colonies?

[Jim R]

Dear Mr Belcher-Smith
Thank you for your recent correspondence detailing certain allegations of impropriety on behalf of the TBC membership committee. I have passed this matter on to our Ethics Committee and after due consideration I direct you to their findings as set out below.
Yours
Sir Tavish MacTavish

Dear Mr Belcher-Smith
My collegue Sir Tavish passed your concerns to the TBC Ethics Committee so that the allegations could be looked into.
Your first concern was that Mr Jones application was considered in a favourable light due to him having relatives within the TBC. We refute this in its entirety. We do however acknowledge that the committee's recent fact finding trip to the Bahamas was in part financed by Mr Jones. His generosity in no way influenced the committee's decision. We also accept that Mr Jones and my secretary, Miss Anastasia McDougal, do have a shared interest in 15th century religious art and have been known to spend weekends away together pursuing this interest in Margate. Again we find no evidence of corruption in this innocent, shared hobby.
Your second allegation is that Mr Jones stored modelling materials on and under the matrimonial bed which is, as you correctly say, banned. After extensive investigation of the matter we find that the bed in the photograph is not the matrimonial bed but is the one in the spare bedroom at the Jones residence. Mr Jones does sometimes sleep in that bed, alone, at the request of Mrs Jones when he has spent too long in the saloon bar of the Sprue and Glue public house. This does not contravene our rules.
We hope this sets the matters straight and that we have been able to lay your concerns to rest.
Dr Umpa Njomo - BA (failed) University of Pyongyang Chairperson TBC Ethics Committee

[Guest]

Sir Tavish MacTavish.
Thank you for your esteemed reply.
I'm in the process of obtaining quotes for the dry cleaning of .
1. One duvet

2. Replacement of bone China Breafast set .

3. New Axminster carpet .

I have never laughed so much for a long time, the down side was the damage caused when reading this post while partaking in breakfast in my bed chamber here at Race Towers.
Our solicitors R Kray and Co ltd will be in touch shortly .

Yours Ivor Belcher - Smith.

[rtfoe]

BTW Steve I like your practice spray wall. SWMBO would have my family jewels sent to ancestoral heavens if I practise that way. :tears-of-joy:

Cheers,
Richard