The other pandemic

[Gern]

Don't get me wrong folks, but up until a few days ago, the last football match I watched all the way through was in 1966. I don't have to tell you what game that was, but as I'm starting to run out of stuff to do 'til I start my meds to get rid of the shakes, I thought I'd have a look at some of the Euro matches - bearing in mind that the competition is attracting more interest and coverage than Covid. Oh Gods! What can I say?

The quality of the acting is apalling! I've seen better in Nativity plays. Any player who gets within a couple of feet of his opponent is risking a yellow/red card - but only after the player he gets close to has checked that the ref is watching before he falls over and rolls in apparent agony. And that's after a contact that any five year old would ignore if it happened in the playground.

I actually heard a commentator congratulating a player for the quality and subtlety of his foul play! What kind of sport is that?!

I thought the idea was to score more goals than the opposing side. I won't pretend to follow all the intricacies of the game, but I lost count of the number of times the attacking sides took three or four passes back to their own goalie from the penalty area of their opponents - only for him to pass it back up the field to where they started. And the sheer amount of time spent passing the ball around on or near the halfway line is unreal. If they deleted all of that from a recording of a match, you could get all the interesting bits done in about 10 minutes - leaving you about 80 minutes to do something more exciting - like maybe sorting your sock drawer!

What's the idea behind the throw-in? Lineouts in rugby are taken from the spot where the ball goes out of play as determined by the touch judge. In football it seems anywhere within 10 yards of the spot - in whichever direction is the most advantageous to the side throwing in - is OK.

I can't take any of that seriously, but I have learned one thing about the game. If ever I'm struggling to get to sleep, all I need to do is find some game on TV - there's always one somewhere - and watch it for 10 minutes or so. It's simply the best cure for insomnia I've come across! It does leave me a problem though. And that's the crick in my neck I get from falling asleep on the sofa. That would be worth a few weeks sick leave for a footballer!

Don't mind me folks. I've not played football for decades. The last thing I remember doing was letting my best mate teach me how to tackle. He had the ball and I faced him and took it away with just one touch of my foot. He promptly told me I was wrong 'cos I hadn't shuffled my feet around like proper players. Me? Gullible? Yes, but he was my best mate and I was only about 4 years old so I believed him. Consequently I shuffled around but I never got the ball away from him again so I totally lost interest.

I'm going back to ebay to see if I can find more of those books you guys have recommended in the last couple of days.

PS I've just read through this and I can almost hear the death threats from the fans already. Not to worry, a bit of danger will spice up my life so I'm going for it! And it will give them something to argue about with other fans deciding the exact manner of my demise. P'raps they could do that during the 80 minutes or so when nothing else is happening?

PPS I have said I have no understanding of the game and even less interest in learning, so attempts to teach me what I'm missing will be falling on sterile, stony ground. I'm much too old a dog to be learning new tricks. Sorry guys.

PPPS It's only after writing all this that I've realised just how much I dislike the game! But I promise I won't mention it again.

[Airborne01]

My thoughts exactly Dave - and their much-vaunted 'fitness' is a joke! Back in the day if I'd have told the PTIs (Physical Training Instructors) I couldn't turn up for training because I'd had a game, or been on a run, last week and as a result was tired I dread to think what the repercussions would have been! And wages ... !
Steve

[Guest]

I'm with you Dave. I enjoyed football until the late 90's, both playing and watching. I now only follow Portsmouth as a result of living within a stones throw of the ground for 10 years.

The things that put me off it is the astronomical money involved, the fact that it is considered newsworthy at the expense of all else, and that it occurred to me one day that football is the only sport that requires a police presence to control the fans.

I have a general disinterest in sport though, with the exception of F1, rugby and snooker (which I class as a game anyway).

The other thing that gets me is the commentators. What an absolute load of rubbish they talk!

[Gern]

My thoughts exactly Dave - and their much-vaunted 'fitness' is a joke! Back in the day if I'd have told the PTIs (Physical Training Instructors) I couldn't turn up for training because I'd had a game, or been on a run, last week and as a result was tired I dread to think what the repercussions would have been! And wages ... !
Steve

Have you seen this:

https://www.theversed.com/10170/his-scrotum-burst-open-and-he-still-refused-to-leave-the-field/#.GvBzqdQO35

I know this was truly exceptional, but the mind boggles at what footballers use as excuses - and get away with!

[Gern]

You gotta blame the fans for the money that footballers get. If they weren't daft enough to pay stupid prices for tickets/viewing rights so they could get their 'fix', then footballers wouldn't be paid their totally undeserved wages. Still, their interest keeps them off the streets and out of the pubs I like so it can't be all that bad.

[Guest]

I suppose you're right, I just can't see how it's justified!
Imagine the job advert:

OPEN POSITION

ROLE: Football person
SALARY: £10m+ per annum, subject to experience
HOURS: 3 per week

JOB DESCRIPTION: Chase a balloon around a field

[Gern]

I suppose you're right, I just can't see how it's justified!
Imagine the job advert:

OPEN POSITION

ROLE: Football person
SALARY: £10m+ per annum, subject to experience
HOURS: 3 per week

JOB DESCRIPTION: Chase a balloon around a field

Entry qualifications:

Essential:

Must be able to dive towards the floor - and actually hit it - while grimacing in apparent agony. .

Must be able to conceal at least 50% of foul play from the referee.

The ability to sweat even when not engaged in physical activity.

Must be prepared to swap loyalty to a team for a bigger paycheck.

Optional:

The ability to have the most ludicrous hairstyle they can imagine.

[Neil Merryweather]

You're not alone Dave
I often introduce myself to blokes with ' I'm not a real man, I don't like football, formula one, cricket or any sport. Don't like cars, but I do like aeroplanes and tanks an history, and I can bore for England on world war two...'

[David Lovell]

At last some fellow gents ,couldn't care less if mankind never kicked another football ,its on in our house but I do watch whilst doing something else the highlight for me being who's got the daftest hair do what twits with a i replace with a A if you desire .Dave

[The Smythe Meister]

You're not alone Dave
I often introduce myself to blokes with ' I'm not a real man, I don't like football, formula one, cricket or any sport. Don't like cars, but I do like aeroplanes and tanks an history, and I can bore for England on world war two...'

A man after my own heart!!:thumb2::tears-of-joy:

[PaulTRose]

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bunch of over paid under achieving prima donnas

[Tim Marlow]

Have you seen this:

https://www.theversed.com/10170/his-scrotum-burst-open-and-he-still-refused-to-leave-the-field/#.GvBzqdQO35

I know this was truly exceptional, but the mind boggles at what footballers use as excuses - and get away with!

In a week that saw Christian Eriksen given CPR on live TV I think that one is a bit below the belt Dave….Bert Trautman might also disagree with you. Don’t remember a football match where an injury was faked so the losing team could substitute a player either (look up bloodgate), but it happened in top level rugby. This man is not a “hero” or an “icon”, he’s an idiot.

Rugby has been promoting this so called imbalance for years, look how brave Rugby players are, footballers are wimps! There are are just as many prima donnas in rugby as there are in football. In fact, Rugby as a game has become so sterile in the last ten years or so I hardly watch it at all these days.

All the interesting bits that made it more of a contest are gradually being eliminated. Line outs, in particular, are an example. Cheating was so rife that rather than eliminating the cheats the rules were changed to make lifting legal…a line out now resembles something you might see cheerleaders or acrobats perform rather than a contested move in a sport! Scrums are going the same way!

If you want overpaid prim a donnas by the way, try Tennis or Golf. They are very two dimensional sports usually played at the top level by characterless and humourless individuals with a very privileged start in life. THAT is watching paint dry…..

Going back to football, I don’t find much of it interesting either, really disliking some teams where cheating has become a National characteristic. However I still feel that as a sport it allows access to all and has a far greater openness and more heart than any other sport played professionally.

[spanner570]

Football? Ah, yes, I remember that 'Man's Game'.
'Nobby' Stiles of Man. Utd, 'Chopper' Harris of Chelsea. etc..... Proper men playing what was then a proper game! Back then there were very few 'Foreigners' in British teams, they were up made up of home grown talent. Now we have over payed, theatrical wimps, most of whom seem to be, shall I politely type, from overseas....

Tennis. I remember when humans played the game and not the soulless 'machines' we see today? Jimmy Connors, Mcenroe. Nastase. All great and totally unpredictable players who played their hearts out and entertained too.......

Olympics. I haven't watch this for years. I don't see the point, as many medalists/ participants seem to be caught having taken drugs. Bloody Cheats! - And then just receive a slapped wrist! - And a welcome back for the next one!

Formula 1. ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ!

Golf. A good walk spoilt by trying to knock a ball into a hole with an expensive stick (Mine's more expensive than yours!)

Rugby Union. Back when... Great game. 'Wogga' Nathan, a New Zealander, after his last ever game in his country's shirt, crying his eyes out trying to do a lap around Cardiff Arms Park. Whilst the crowd all sang "We'll keep a welcome in the Hillside" Terrific stuff!

[Tim Marlow]

Rugby Union puts foward this “ethos” of a game full of soul, and there are plenty of examples that hark back to a previous age, but the same can be said of football. However, the actual matches, especially internationals, in both sports become more sterile and soulless every year. The more money that is put into the professional game the more fiscally oriented it becomes. Rugby has already taken on that mantle, moving games to maximise TV revenue, and putting the vast majority of its games on pay per view….basically if it could generate the same popularity and revenue as football it would jump that way in a heartbeat……it was a great game, but is quickly loosing the spark that made it watchable…..

[PaulTRose]

never really done 'team sports'.....prefer something with an engine and prefrably a few wheels

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proper hard men..............i remember Rossi breaking both legs in a crash,......month later he was being lifted on to the bike, first race back was on the podium!

you get the likes of Guy Martin who highsides at the Ulster GP..........head buts the ground at 130...tumbles 50 metres.....breaks 2 vertebres, 5 ribs, hand.......on the thursday.......on the friday is operated on, has two rods inserted into spine.......plates in wrist, ribs bolted together ......walks out of hospital on the saturday.....back tinkering in the shed by thursday........back to work as a truck fitter a week later cos he was bored!!!

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