Mental health awareness

[AlanG]

Firstly i shall point out that this is not a 'woe is me thread'. I am just writing it to get this off my chest.

As some of you know on here that i suffer with my mental health a lot on occasions. This can range from a simple 'quiet day' to a full blown 'can't leave my bed day'. In the past it has even got as far as a 'stop breathing day'.

This past week and a bit has been a massive pendulum for myself and most of my close family. My brother-in-law went missing a week last Thursday and his body was found on the following Sunday. He had taken his own life.

There are personal reasons as to why he spiraled down to the dark depths but i am not going to go into them. Suffice to say. He was in a horrible mental state. I hold no grudge or anger towards him. But for the grace of something, i could have been there myself many times in the past.

What i am trying to say is. It's ok to feel down. We all have some form of mental health issue. The main thing is to recognize it and talk to someone, anyone, about it. If it requires you to see a doctor, then so be it. There is no shame in holding your hand up and asking for help. And if anyone says different. Then more fool them and they can do one.

It's also ok to ask someone if they are ok..... twice! The person may not see a change in their attitude, but loved ones, friends and work colleagues might. So take that person aside and ask. You never know. It might help them more than you can imagine.

I just wish i had asked the question to my brother-in-law, Neil. Maybe, just maybe i could have helped a little. He was a fantastic, loving, devoted father to four children. They are now in bits and we have to pick up the pieces. I shall never condemn him. I understand where he was mentally.

So guys (and gals). Take care of yourself and each other. We are a community that can offer friendship, advice and help. Use it! Never feel afraid or ashamed to ask for help. My PM box is always open if you need a chat or pointers where to go for help.

One final thing. I would like to personally and publicly thank BattleshipBob and Julie for their support over this past week and a bit. Your advice and support is greatly appreciated

[Airborne01]

Firstly i shall point out that this is not a 'woe is me thread'. I am just writing it to get this off my chest.

As some of you know on here that i suffer with my mental health a lot on occasions. This can range from a simple 'quiet day' to a full blown 'can't leave my bed day'. In the past it has even got as far as a 'stop breathing day'.

This past week and a bit has been a massive pendulum for myself and most of my close family. My brother-in-law went missing a week last Thursday and his body was found on the following Sunday. He had taken his own life.

There are personal reasons as to why he spiraled down to the dark depths but i am not going to go into them. Suffice to say. He was in a horrible mental state. I hold no grudge or anger towards him. But for the grace of something, i could have been there myself many times in the past.

What i am trying to say is. It's ok to feel down. We all have some form of mental health issue. The main thing is to recognize it and talk to someone, anyone, about it. If it requires you to see a doctor, then so be it. There is no shame in holding your hand up and asking for help. And if anyone says different. Then more fool them and they can do one.

It's also ok to ask someone if they are ok..... twice! The person may not see a change in their attitude, but loved ones, friends and work colleagues might. So take that person aside and ask. You never know. It might help them more than you can imagine.

I just wish i had asked the question to my brother-in-law, Neil. Maybe, just maybe i could have helped a little. He was a fantastic, loving, devoted father to four children. They are now in bits and we have to pick up the pieces. I shall never condemn him. I understand where he was mentally.

So guys (and gals). Take care of yourself and each other. We are a community that can offer friendship, advice and help. Use it! Never feel afraid or ashamed to ask for help. My PM box is always open if you need a chat or pointers where to go for help.

One final thing. I would like to personally and publicly thank BattleshipBob and Julie for their support over this past week and a bit. Your advice and support is greatly appreciated

All credit to you my friend - I still have (very) occasional episodes of PTSD so I can empathise to some extent with you. My thoughts are with you.
Steve

[Jim R]

Very brave post Alan. The more people who speak out about mental health issues the greater the understanding and acceptance there will be.
So very sorry about your brother in law. Thoughts with the family.

[tr1ckey66]

Well said Alan. We should all spare a thought for the wellbeing of others, you never know what they are going through. My thoughts also go out to you and the family.

[Mark1]

Very sorry to hear that Alan mental health can be a tough battle. Ive suffered depression for years and it nearly got the better of me about 2 1/2 years ago,had a bit of a breakdown,opened up to some family and made some lifestyle changes which helped greatly, most of my spare time i spend modelling now,dont care if im any good at it or if i ever finish anything it gives my brain something to focus on.
Not enough people take mens mental health seriously as i myself have been told in the past by people close to me "suck it up, your a man!"

[Tim Marlow]

Sorry for your loss Alan. I know exactly where you are coming from. My cousin’s husband did this about twenty years ago and the loss is still raw at times. There were absolutely no signs that anything was wrong. In addition we have had to nurse my daughter through self harming, anorexia, and through many other mental health episodes. Again, sometimes things are obvious, but sometimes they are not so obvious.
Mental health is a completely illogical illness and can manifest differently with each onset. All we can do is ask and listen. The most important bit being, of course, the listening.
As Alan says, if anyone needs to unload, my inbox is always open as well.

[Tim Marlow]

Not enough people take mens mental health seriously as i myself have been told in the past by people close to me "suck it up, your a man!"

To be absolutely honest, anyone that says that to me would get a very short reply along the lines of “Blow it out, you’re an arsehole”…..and would never get the time of day from me again.

[Waspie]

All credit to you my friend - I still have (very) occasional episodes of PTSD so I can empathise to some extent with you. My thoughts are with you.
Steve

Ditto buddy. My week has been a tad torrid. Problem is you never know when it is going to strike.
Sorry to hear of your brother in law Alan, heart felt condolences to you friends and family.

Not enough people take mens mental health seriously as i myself have been told in the past by people close to me "suck it up, you're a man!"

Non of us know what the person next to us has gone through, one day something just may happen to them, wrong place wrong time and bang - your head is messed up on a monumental scale for ever.

The good ole days of ' just have a beer - you'll be fine' happily are now behind us.

[Guest]

Alan , so sorry for you and family upon reading this sad news. Condolences to all.
Very sad , and brave of you to mention this.

[BattleshipBob]

No need my friend, only a few messages but so happy that they helped in a small way. Your message was a very courageous thing to do Al and as you know my email is always open for you as well.

[boatman]

AN the same from me as well very brave of you alan an also very sorry to hear what your brother in law went through yes in my opinion its a cruel world an some of the humans in it as they have no grace or understanding of what people go through an i say thank goodness for moddelein or i would have had mental trouble with what to do when i retired but its kept me sane an with help from my jen
ATB TO you an yours Alan
chrisb an jen

[Richard48]

Indeed very brave and im saddened to hear of your brother in law.I understand your issues.Dave Ward will agree with me that diabetes issues lead to low moods often leading to depression.Both my parents have been in units due to breakdowns.So from an early age i was aware when things werent right at home.Its good to talk with people who understand but sadly so many are too self consumed until they need help.Its having to try and carry on as nothing is wrong for the benefit of say other family members.
I certainly would be thrilled if i could help anybody in anyway if they are suffering.The most precious thing is our time we can give to others in need.I find modelling helps the mind switch off from time to time.I live near the coast and just to walk on the beach or sit and watch the water birds on the nature reserve is such a tonic.

There are people who care and there are many on here who are good company.We might not know each other socially but when ive met modellers in the past nearly all are great people.My P.M box is always open.
I send much love and thoughts to you and your loved ones from Rich,Helen and our fur babies.

[yak face]

Sorry to hear that Al and bravo for your honesty and courage posting this . I hope it lets everyone know that this isnt just a modelling forum , but also somewhere anyone can reach out if they feel the need , as with modelling problems , you’ll always get a respectful and hopefully helpful answer

[Allen Dewire]

I can only echo all that's been already said. Thank you for posting this Alan and so sorry to hear what happened. And thank you to all the fine folks on here too. I've been good for the past couple of years, but really thought retirement would shoot me to hell. Luckily, model building and this forum have kept me going. It's just like a big family and so appreciated...

Allen

[stillp]

Well said Alan. Mental health problems affect 1 in 4 of the population at some time in their lives, but not many are prepared to discuss it.
Pete