Amazing surgical breakthrough!!

[spanner570]

A revolutionary new method of supporting wounds during healing has just been announced.

Dr. Ivor Limov, Head Surgical Consultant at Moscow University Hospital said today...."This is possibly the best breakthrough in surgical work in modern times."

The inventor, a modest englishman, who wishes to remain anonymous, spoke over the telephone and said.

"I was under a vehicle using a trolley jack, when the pumping handle came off the bloody thing and I caught my middle finger on a bit of the ****ing chassis. The skin peeled back to reveal my ****ing finger joint bone!

I wrapped a bandage around the wound, and it was then that I hit on this invention. I realised that my finger would naturally bend at the the joint, so I reckoned I needed something to keep it stiff during the healing process."

Here is his truly amazing solution to a problem that has baffled top surgeons for decades.....

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Asked if he intended to set up a factory to make his revolutionary splint he replied....

"Na, not much point.....I can get coffee stirrers by just raiding coffee shops and the cafe at RAF Cosford!"

As if...........other outlets are available.

[Guest]

Reach for the IPA spray Alcohol a quick dart. Tamiya tape Ron next to the Morton Knives. If you want a bit of sprue to shape.

In fact with all the gear here I could start a little minor accidents unit. Got a Dremel for cutting bones cutting plastic card. Bit of Humbrol Clear to seal the joint.

Make a fortune.

Laurie

[Alan 45]

Good one Ron

[spanner570]

Cheers boys, on a more serious note, just the relatively simple wound as I've now got, doesn't half make me realise how much I need all my fingers!!

It's really awkward trying to grip my modelling knife....

[john i am]

Ouch nice patch up job Ron I once cut my leg with a brand new Stanley blade which needed six stitches at the hospital the nurse remarked on my wound saying how neat a job I had made of it and that the surgeons would be most proud of such an incision but the worst to date was with an angle grinder 6" 13 stitches in my hand looked like a dog had being chewing on my hand after the incident but thankfully it all went back together eventually

[spanner570]

And you say ouch at me!.....seems you're a bit accident prone, John boy.lol

How come when we need to learn a lesson, most of the time we have to hurt ourselves to start with?

[Guest]

oddly enough , A&E use a lot of superglue for certain wounds, I should know.

Last year, some helpful pressed the CLOSE button on the boot lid, before they checked I was clear..

Claret everywhere....the first aider iced it and reckoned STITCHES!

not good on the top of your noggin, although the triage nurse said.. " nah, combat triage job...."

walked out later with painkillers and a crust full of CA......

[Gern]

Is there no end to your talents Ron? Have you thought of marketing that idea to the NHS? Bet you could make a fortune the way the clowns in their accounts work.

Gern

[yak face]

ouch! Welcome to the digitally challenged club matey!!!!! I hope this works ok , i bet youve only got a few thousand left! seriously though what were you doing under a car? , scraping muck off for a dio base i bet!!? hope it heals quick , i want to see the mill dio finished! cheers tony

[spanner570]

seriously though what were you doing under a car? , scraping muck off for a dio base i bet!!?

To be honest mucker, I was under a static caravan.....I was jacking up one corner - as it had sunk into the ground a bit - prior to adding fresh packings to get the thing back summat like level....I did win in the end!

[flyjoe180]

Sounds painful actually Ron. At least you have the latest medical technology 'at your fingertips'

[Guest]

Caravans are the work of the devil!

[Guest]

Ouch is right, I bet that will take, actually I was going to say ages to heal what with keep opening the wound whenever you Ben your finger but actually, due to your amazing invention you should be back to your modeling prowess by oh let's say 2 o'clock this afternoon, only joking hope it heals quickly for you.

I once had an incident in my man cave I left a Stanley knife on my bench which was sticking over the edge and up against a box which as we do I forgot about it bent down to rescue a part from the floor and as I stood up I I back into the Stanley blade and got a 3" gash in my bum after an embarrassing visit to the E R I got it patched up. Was sitting very gingerly for a week after that. I am always careful how I leave my knives now, as said we always have to hurt ourselves before we learn.

[monica]

oh ouch is right, just use super glue next time works so well on skin but not so good on plastic

i have done the same thing a few times, as i aways drag the blade towords me, so the finger go first,ops:

or what is worse was helping one off my brothers years back ,hold some thing he was drilling,

and the drill broke and end it ended up in my hand so had like a 1/4 inch hole right in the middle,

then he puts it in backwards to get it out, and call me a real girl because i was yelling at him ,

and guess what he filled it with off all things silicone and super glue, oh my lol,