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I bought a new boat

Nice boat, I retire on the 29th of September, and I’ve already got a list as long as a toilet roll.
 
You guys have got to put your foot down with a firm hand! If you don't, you're doomed to eternal servitude 'cos on average the ladies live longer than we do. Therefore you'll run out of time before they run out of jobs!

I gave up Xmas many years ago as I found myself spending all day assembling and fixing toys and having no time for myself. Now I refuse to even talk to anyone on Xmas day! It's wonderful. No deciding who to have dinner with - therefore no-one is either glad or disappointed. No taxi driving. No work other than what I choose to do. No panic over what to do for dinner and when to eat it. No arguments over what TV to watch, and, best of all, no kids running and racing around either screaming like lunatics or crying 'cos their siblings won't share their new toys or they've broken their own.

The family took the hint and now I only get 'invited' to do urgent jobs that the council won't do. Bliss!!
 
Yeah, retirement's a trap enforced by the female of the species to manipulate us now we are under their ever watching eye each and every day. It should be compulsory for the male of the species to go to a place of their choice daily to avoid the never ending lists the opposite sex can fill so easily!!!
Yep! used to be called the bar, but when women started drinking pints.....
 
I'm not married, I'm not retired, but my mum keeps finding me 'wee five minute jobs'! I moved out over 30 years ago too...
In a lot of cases had you been married, you would now be wearing the harried look of a man defeated...
Nice boat, I retire on the 29th of September, and I’ve already got a list as long as a toilet roll.
That is a never ending toilet roll, wait till she gets to the kitchen roll....
 
You guys have got to put your foot down with a firm hand! If you don't, you're doomed to eternal servitude 'cos on average the ladies live longer than we do. Therefore you'll run out of time before they run out of jobs!

I gave up Xmas many years ago as I found myself spending all day assembling and fixing toys and having no time for myself. Now I refuse to even talk to anyone on Xmas day! It's wonderful. No deciding who to have dinner with - therefore no-one is either glad or disappointed. No taxi driving. No work other than what I choose to do. No panic over what to do for dinner and when to eat it. No arguments over what TV to watch, and, best of all, no kids running and racing around either screaming like lunatics or crying 'cos their siblings won't share their new toys or they've broken their own.

The family took the hint and now I only get 'invited' to do urgent jobs that the council won't do. Bliss!!
I always put my foot down and tell her. I sit her down and explain how my day is going to run. First it is the cup of tea in my favourite mug and at the right temerature, then after I am dressed she can make the bed while I saunter down stairs where my three Wheatabix are laid out in the bowl just as I like them, one across the topp and two side by side, the milk is served ice cold and the sugar is there just within arms reach. So after breakfast it is into the shower where I raise my arms and she soaps me all over and makes sure all the little orifices are clean and free of fluff... And then I can begin my day just relaxing and reclining untill I feel the urge to come to the model bench....
And then the dream ends, I flush the toilet and get back to reality.
 
Thread owner
You need to come to what we call the Southsea Islands. Falster, Lolland, Askø, Femø, Fejø og Vejrø they are all great. I live on Falster near Stubbekøbing across from Bogø and Møn.
Thanks for the suggestions - I'll do some investigating.
 
Thread owner
I really wasn't expecting all the misogyny guys, however lighthearted!

As a counterpoint, can I mention that it was my other half who suggested we buy a bigger boat, who was completely cool with me retiring two years early, who has just supported me magnificently through a particularly difficult end to my working life, who is still working herself, but has booked a year's sabbatical so we can enjoy sailing next year together?

I hope that, deep down, you all LOVE your significant others as much as I do mine.

As I say, I know it's being said in jest, but it would be lovely to hear more about how much we love the people we share our lives with - perhaps I should start a new thread? xx
 
Must admit I thought it had all gone a bit “Andy Capp” Paul. I just wonder how many would have the guts to say any of this to their SOs faces ;)
 
I really wasn't expecting all the misogyny guys, however lighthearted!

As a counterpoint, can I mention that it was my other half who suggested we buy a bigger boat, who was completely cool with me retiring two years early, who has just supported me magnificently through a particularly difficult end to my working life, who is still working herself, but has booked a year's sabbatical so we can enjoy sailing next year together?

I hope that, deep down, you all LOVE your significant others as much as I do mine.

As I say, I know it's being said in jest, but it would be lovely to hear more about how much we love the people we share our lives with - perhaps I should start a new thread? xx
Paul,
No problem, you opened the door and we all walked in. I hope you and your wife enjoy your retirement to the full, and what a pleasant present for you and one that you can both enjoy.
But I do hope you enjoyed the banter.
Mike.
 
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