Well I've finally done it

[Guest]

Hi Geoff I was a gardener handy man on a large estate which used to have 4 gardeners and 3 handy men and now there is just me, I used to have a sit on mower to mow the lawns but it was so old when I went for repair they was told it was beyond repair so now I mow the lawns with an 18 INCH push mower, and she moans about the place starting to look shabby. This last thing was just the last straw she phoned up about 3 weeks ago on a Saturday at 930 pm (we'd just got in from a bbq at our friends) screaming down the phone where had we been, she'd been trying to get hold of us all day (turns out she couldn't find the salt) that's what it's like here.

[eddiesolo]

Sounds like they live in past with servants...silly people. You know what they say, the rich stay rich because they don't spend-most people with money are tight wads.

[Guest]

Guess what she said to my missus today, (I couldn't stop laughing) "it would be nice if _He_ apologised to _Me_". My missus said if I did she might give me a reference. I said it would be a cold day in he'll before that happened. Even if she said she'd give me one if I apologised she would smile afterwards and say no. I couldn't believe that she lives in cloud cuckoo land.

[Guest]

Blimey, I can see now why you packed the job in. She won't get anyone to mow her lawns with a push mower on a large estate. If she phones you again, tell her to stick her mower up her jacksy. I take it your wife works there as well. Does your house come with the job? What happens if your wifes job goes too, you could become homeless. Sounds as though you are in a bit of a catch 22 situation.

[eddiesolo]

Guess what she said to my missus today, (I couldn't stop laughing) "it would be nice if _He_ apologised to _Me_". My missus said if I did she might give me a reference. I said it would be a cold day in he'll before that happened. Even if she said she'd give me one if I apologised she would smile afterwards and say no. I couldn't believe that she lives in cloud cuckoo land.

Chuffing hell Ken...she wants you to apologise...yet they cannot see what they are doing/done...yep, away with the fairies.

[zuludog]

Sounds like my idea that she might try to pass any blame onto you was correct. I think you would both be better if you were out of it


Here are a couple of suggestions


You say you are in a tied house. Start looking & costing for rented accommodation; private, housing associations, and council. If you arrange a meeting with an association and explain your situation and the pressure, you might get a priority. Get your name down, you can always decline an offer with no problems, as they will always have others on a waiting list


You can usually get a private rent quickly, and just because you're in it doesn't mean you have to stay forever


Do you know anyone with a spare room, shed, garage or similar you could use for a while? Start to move your furniture & belongings into it so that when you do leave you will have less stuff and can make your move fairly quickly. I can anticipate all sorts of ructions, fun & games and unpleasantness when it actually happens


Have a serious look at your finances, income, expenditure and so on. You might find that you could manage on less money, at least for a short while, so that you could afford for your wife to leave, even if she hasn't yet got a job. Get professional advice and see what help is available. Where I live Lancashire County Council produce a booklet on financial advice & assistance for over 60s. There may be something similar in your area.


A friend lives in a rural area, Cumbria, and is a self employed cleaner; never seems to be a shortage of work - various houses, a pub, and she's just started doing a local school.


I was a chef/cook in a nursing home, and I know that schools, nursing homes, hospitals and so on are often looking for kitchen assistants


Can't be any worse than her present situation

[Guest]

When I referred to 'The Syndicate' I didn't realise that your employer was actually worse! They could have made a better TV program about her. What an unbeleivable woman.

[Guest]

Well thanks for the suggestions we have savings (luckily) we don't drink(much) don't go out much gore biggest expence is the sky tv (only the basic package) so have checked on private renting and we could manage for 6 mnths with neither of us working(obviously we don't want to use all our hard earned savings in this way but if necessary we could) funny thing they are soooooooooo tight apparently her husband is going to take over my job (he works in London all day and dosn't get in till 8 pm) so not sure how he thinks he is going to deal with 20 acres of garden. Not to mention all the other stuff I do. She has not mentioned the house at all so maybe we have a bitbof time to sort something. My missus says if she wants to put the rent up she will say she is off too. As we pay 600 a month and it's rental value is 1000 as she likes to remind us offten. That may be true if it was all in good order, I have bodged the outhouse roof so many times the timbers are all rotten, the front window sill is rotten and the window is sinking into it I've added a piece of 2x4 to the top of the window to fill the gap, she won't spend a penny on the building.

[grumpa]

Egads! sounds like she's trying to "divide and defeat" don't let her do it! Have the missus play her along, don't give her the upper hand. I think she may be regretting her obtuseness. Let the rope out a bit at a time and don't go "over the top " until you're good and ready

[zuludog]

I've just searched Google for 'rental properties, Halstead Essex'. Looks as though there is a decent selection of flats & houses up to the £600/£650 mark, including this;


3 bedroomed semi, Parsonage Street, Halstead, £450pcm


Not too far away The Ramsay Academy currently has a vacancy for a kitchen assistant


Also The Colne View Care Home may have something

[Guest]

Well now I'm between a rock and a hard place supposed to be leaving friday, she's apologised promised a new tractor and a wage rise, and my missus thinks I am being unreasonable not accepting, if I don't I see my life being miserable, and if i do, somewhere down the line I see this happening again.

[Guest]

Good on you Ken, stick to your guns mate and Karma will visit her one dark and stormy night. I recon you will have a new job in no time.


scott

[grumpa]

A real quandary you're in, she's turned the tables on you mate now setting the missus against you! But don't be hard on your spouse, after all she's a victim too, whatever decision you should make of course I can't advise you on that, but don't let it ruin your relationship with your lovely wife. She's the most important thing, everything else is chaff..............Jim

[spanner570]

Ken, one thing's for sure...This woman will never change. Her falseness will come through the moment you decide to stay in her employ. Then she will be back to her old ways.


To be honest, she sounds a bit unbalanced - very dangerous people!


There are plenty of jobs about. It's usually the people who don't want one who say there are none, preferring to 'Demand their rights' with palms wide open.......


You come over as being very positive about finding a job, that's good, 'cos you will, and I feel sure your missus will stand by whatever decision you come to.


Best wishes and good fortune to you both......

[Gern]

That's a 'devil and the deep blue sea' situation you have there Ken. I'd go along with what the other guys have said though. She sounds like she has no grasp of reality and a new tractor won't fix the basic problems.


The other issue of course is that that type of person never forgets. Change your mind now and she will find ways to get her own back - probably by using your wife as leverage against you - then your life won't be worth living.